You know, Harelip has been mixed blessing at best, ever since I was introduced to him by this guy at the gym who cleaned the men's bathroom and offered hand jobs on the side - naturally, he was known as Clean and Jerk.
I remember when I first met him. I was sitting in the front seat of my Chevy Impala, tears rolling down my face and a pistol shoved in my mouth. The tape deck had just mangled my cassette of Poison’s Open Up and Say … Ahh right in the middle of “Every Rose has its Thorn.” Brown ribbon oozed out of the slot amid a sick whirring sound. That summed up my life right there. I was about to pull the trigger but was stopped by a knock on the driver’s side window. Standing there was a guy I had met briefly once before. He motioned to me to roll down the window, which I did.
“How much can you bench press?” he said.
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This is an excerpt from Deus Oinof, an unpublished collaborative novel by Michael Roth and Jerry Schroeder.
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