Saturday, May 16, 2009
Proposal for a Television Program
The program would be called "So You Didn't Want to Fuck Me?!" and could either be a separate program or an ongoing segment in an established show. The premise is simple - I surprise former crushes (both men and women) at their homes or work. I give them exactly 15 seconds to explain why they did not fuck me. When the timer is up, I blast an air horn in their face and scream "Too late for excuses, motherfucker!" I then spray the area and every one nearby with feces from a hose connected to a septic tank pumper truck. After that, I haul a deteriorating pig or sheep carcass into the room. I drop my pants and fuck the animal carcass screaming "I'd rather fuck this than you any day!" When I finish, I set the carcass on fire. We can use funky music for the soundtrack and also add a laugh track, if necessary.
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5 comments:
I'd put that on the adult channel... but only if you promise first that have never and will never have a crush on me! Since GG Allin is dead, you probably are the best man to be doing this... but only because I'm vegetarian and don't shag dead animals!
Floda here: i thoink it would make for a greart critical reappraisal of love culture from Dante down through Shakespeare right up to our very own Bono. Your show reveals the true genmius of most artistic production.
Actually, Trip, I would want this to air on regular cable, preferably primetime. I think it should fit smoothly into the regular TV offerings. As to the crush, well, gosh, I will never tell ...
Thanks floda. You've hit the nail on the head. It's really a show about unrequited love. And since TV has been recycling narratives from Catullus, Dante and Shakespeare for years, this would certainly reboot this exhausted trope.
And while we're waiting for the production for the TV show to be put in place, what about some new blogs?
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