Saturday, May 16, 2009
Proposal for a Television Program
The program would be called "So You Didn't Want to Fuck Me?!" and could either be a separate program or an ongoing segment in an established show. The premise is simple - I surprise former crushes (both men and women) at their homes or work. I give them exactly 15 seconds to explain why they did not fuck me. When the timer is up, I blast an air horn in their face and scream "Too late for excuses, motherfucker!" I then spray the area and every one nearby with feces from a hose connected to a septic tank pumper truck. After that, I haul a deteriorating pig or sheep carcass into the room. I drop my pants and fuck the animal carcass screaming "I'd rather fuck this than you any day!" When I finish, I set the carcass on fire. We can use funky music for the soundtrack and also add a laugh track, if necessary.