Opsonic Index

Introduction for Parasite

2012-01-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

Parasite by DM Mitchell

(2011: Paraphilia Books, 9781453819302)

Parasite began as a series of increasingly wonderful and bizarre blog postings on MySpace several years ago. Later, the project evolved into book form. So, what is the story about? Well, it begins with a simple visit to the doctor’s office. From there, the book details either a dream, or a descent into madness, or a regular day (week? year?) in the life of an average bloke. You decide. After the book came together, David asked me to write the introduction. I was honored to do so, although I had reservations. I thought that there were others who were much better qualified than I was for this project. Dave thought otherwise, and the rest is history. Thanks Dave!

For ordering information, check out the Paraphilia Books website - www.paraphiliamagazine.com.

Introduction

My Demon Brother and I have a little game. The goal is to see who can be the first to induce a psychotic break in the other. The first foray in this game was a performance of Abremelin’s ceremonial invocations over a 19-day period in a room lined with mirrors. In the end, there was no clear winner. So we continued, pushing ourselves further. And while this game has given our lives meaning, it’s not all shits and giggles. I have come close to having my identity dissolve into the black fog. Also, now when I look into any mirror, I see a large black beetle staring back. As a former hooligan, I am used to street violence and intimidation. I’m not easily shaken. But there were times my Demon Brother pushed me to the brink. Fortunately, each time I was able to claw my way back to the comfort of consensual reality.

You can check out the full intro at the Index.

Our Art, Our Streets, Piss Off

2010-09-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

Terry “The Major” Hawkins and Jack “Pez” Walker

Public meeting/Debate

at the England Fish and Chip Club, 201 Hackney Way Vancouver

Our Art, Our Streets, Piss Off

Avant-garde art organizations and their supporters clubs

For the first time in a decade, two former members of the notorious ultra-violent firms the Dumb Fucks and the Dunbar Goon Squad face off, but this time on the stage, not the street. Jack “Pez” Walker (Dunbar Goon Squad) and Terry “The Major” Hawkins (the Dumb Fucks) will debate postmodern theory, magick and street violence.

Reg “The Professor” Johnson will kick off the evening with a short history of the firms, and explain how they were modelled on English football supporters club. He will also outline the role of these firms, through their violent support of their art organizations, in bringing avant-garde art to the streets.

Audience warning: There will be violence! Come prepared!

..

2010-07-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

Choose, and what you choose shall be yours.

A rif on D.A.F.

DBCCPG Instructional Graphic

2010-07-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

This graphic is from a Psy Ontology instructional manual put out by the DB Cooper Church of Perpetual Grace (now on hiatus).

From the Opsonic Index archives

Images from the Index cont'd

2010-07-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

From the Opsonic Index archives

Images from the Index

2010-07-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

Invoke Often

From the Opsonic Index archives

.

2010-07-04T14:58:00.000-07:00

Last Chapter as Simulation of Reality

2010-06-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

I stayed over at a rooming house in Hackney where I hoped to finish Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie. I was grooving to the story until page 94. That was where I saw my name in the book and my third eye opened and I understood. I was merely a very minor character in a story. Everything - my trip, my blog, my Self - all this, was a subplot in an extended narrative that existed beyond the book.

And now, I realize my role in this narrative is finished, and it is time for me to go. And I am gone.

Up Around Camden Town

2010-06-28T22:26:00.000-07:00

Vacation Daze 11

In Camden Town

I bought a copy of The Seventh Song Of Maldoror at a boot sale in Camden Town. I chatted up the dolly bird who sold me the book and the conversation eventually turned to my travels around England.

She told me that the whole trip was just in my head. I took this to be a polite way to tell me to sod off.

Taking it to the beach

2010-06-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

Vacation Daze 7

Here I am taking in the rave scene in Ibiza. Or is it Brighton? I really cannot tell the difference anymore.

Salisbury Stake Out

2010-06-24T22:40:00.000-07:00

Vacation Daze 6

The B&B I'm staying at in Salisbury has a very lovely garden (see picture).

Road Trip Day 20

Lost in Wales

2010-06-23T21:57:00.000-07:00

Vacation Daze 5

Relaxing on the train

I'm stuck on a train somewhere between Machynlleth and Caersws. Fortunately, this is giving me some time to read more of Blood Rites.

Right now, I'm 1/3 of the way through the book. I'll leave my thoughts on it until a future time as I will not discuss any book until I have read the whole thing. However, to date, I have yet to finish a single book ...

Road Trip Day 19

Paraphilia VIII

2010-06-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

I got this message during my trek through the Black Mountain.

The new issue of Paraphilia Magazine, now available. Check it out at www.paraphiliamagazine.com.

Always filled with interesting and crazy sh*t!

York Time

2010-06-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

Vacation Daze 4

Here I am taking a break at Bootham Bar after walking along city walls. I will find out later tonight whether York is in fact the most haunted city in England.

Road Trip Day 18

Wasn't E.K. just here?

2010-06-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

Vacation Daze 3

Walking the ruins

Fresh off a hike at the Tor, I decide to have a relaxing tour of the ruins of Glastonbury Abbey. I plan to go to Northwick Hill as well, if I can find the bus to Blockley.

Road Trip Day 17

Rambling around Glasgow

2010-06-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

Vacation Daze 2 *

Here I am on Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow. I'm on my way to the Necropolis for a picnic and to take in the lovely view.

*Road Trip Day 16

Vacation Time

2010-06-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 15

I'm taking the scenic route back home. It will give me time to read Blood Rites. Here I am relaxing at the Avebury Stone Circle.

I've got it, now I'm off

2010-06-17T22:58:00.001-07:00

Road Trip Day 14

I dropped by the Book Works office to pick up my copy of Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie. Every one wished me well on the rest of my trip.

(Photo by Sage)(c)

FYI, you do not need to travel to England as I have to get Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie. If you do not live in the UK, the easiest way to get a copy is to order directly from Book Works. As noted in an earlier post, bookstores should also be able to order from the North American supplier (for those who do not wish to order online).

A Tourist in Someone Else's Town

2010-06-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 13

Today, I toured London in a taxi. I saw all of the sights - Granville Island, Stanley Park and the Sea Wall. With all of the sightseeing, I lost track of time. By the time I made it to Hackney, the office had closed. Here's a picture I took through the window. I can see my book sitting on a table inside.

Crude Awakening

2010-06-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 12

I woke up to the noise of this flyer being stuffed under my door. I'm not sure if it's for a swinger's party, or a book launch , or a summer camp of some sort. Perhaps it's just the front page of the Telegraph or Guardian. I'll enquire at the front desk later.

London Found

2010-06-13T23:05:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 11

Today, I arrived in London and settled into a rooming house on Gower. It seems like a nice place.

Beat the Boots

2010-06-12T22:30:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 10

World Exclusive!

I've managed to get my hands on an authentic Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie bootleg. I was browsing in a used book and record shop in Wells when I came across this find behind the glass case at the front counter. The clerk was rather cagey when I asked how he had obtained this before the official on-street date, only saying that he knew people who knew other people. It was something I had to have!

Here's a scan of the cover. I might do excerpts as well in the next couple of days, depending on how my trip to London goes.

Down by the Lake

2010-06-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 9

This is the main road running straight through town in the Lake District. I haven't seen any actual lakes yet but there is still tomorrow. It's gorgeous and walking along I am reminded of the poem by Woolworths - "I wondered lonely as a cloud..."

Come To Milton Keynes

2010-06-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 8

While digital books have been getting all of the attention lately, I have found a wonderful new book format being sold in a quaint bookstore in Milton Keynes - shredded books. The book is sent through an industrial shredder and voila - the book has been transferred into this new shredded format.

While this store sells the shredded books for list price, some art galleries have been selling them as "artist editions", fetching upwards of $1000 per book. The clerk disapproved of this practice and felt, in the end, it may kill this format from being embraced by the populace. And this would really be a shame.

Here is a picture of the copy of Gravity's Rainbow I purchased.

Hopefully, I'll be able to pick up Infinite Jest tomorrow. Unfortunately, there were no Stewart Home books in stock, as they had all been bought up by local nuns.

A quick stop at a bookstore

2010-06-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 7

As I strolled through Nottingham, I happened across one of the three remaining bookstores in England. I walked in to see if they had Stewart's latest book, Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie. While my copy was waiting for me somewhere in London, I thought I'd take a quick peek at the work. I asked the clerk and she laughed.

"Oh, don't you know the joke? It's really an open secret in the industry. Stewart Home does not exist. "He" [air quotes] is actually a computer program that randomizes text and spits the results out as a novel. In any case, I heard that this latest work has been declared out of print. And this is before it has actually been printed! Which is quite an achievement."

She gave me directions to a bookstore in Milton Keynes, and suggested I try there. I thanked her, although I thought her theory about Mr. Home to be ludicrous. How could someone with a webpage not be real?

My webpage exists, therefore I am.

The map is not the territory

2010-06-08T22:26:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 6

I am using a map of Vancouver Island to guide me around England. I felt that this would be the most logical way to navigate the English countryside. By my estimation, I should be in London at some point, eventually.

Wrong Train Again

2010-06-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day #5

I was on my way to Staines to meet up with the guys from Descending Light Explosion. I was to join them for their rave gig in the Tesco parking lot there. Unfortunately, I got on the wrong train and ended up in Stratford-upon-Avon.

Since I had some time to kill before the next train, I took in a performance of a recently discovered play by Shakespeare - The Brother Called Trouble. "Big Money, Big Pimpin', Big Knuckin' and Buckin' equals Big Trouble on the Thames!" Which, I might add, equals AWESOME! His best play so far.

Climbing The Tower

2010-06-06T18:53:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 4

I made a little detour to Durham. I wanted to make my way to the top of the tower at the Cathedral. Here's some graffiti I found scrawled in the stairwell leading to the tower roof.

"A.O.S. was never here"

Third Train from Gloucester

2010-06-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Day 3

The 8:13 South Eastern to London was late. While standing on the platform, a man stood beside me and said something to me I did not catch.

"Pardon me?" I said.

"That's your first mistake." He said.

"What?"

"You spoke to me. That was your first mistake."

"You know, I expect this sort of crazy shit back in Vancouver, not here in the Cotswolds!"

Fortunately, just then, the train rolled in.

My Train ticket

Road Trip

2010-06-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

I’m setting out to pick up my copy of Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie by Stewart Home. It should be waiting for me at 19 Holywell Row, second room on the left, bottom shelf of the book case beside the window. I think. I’ve lost the directions. However, I have a vague recollection that this is where the book is waiting for me.

No problem. I can work things out on the fly. Now, it’s time to head off. You know what they say – even a 1000 mile trip begins with a single tab of acid.

Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie

2010-04-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

Finally, a new book I'm really looking forward to reading. On June 14, 2010, Stewart Home's latest book, Blood Rites of the Bourgeoisie, hits the streets. For full details and samples, check out his website:

http://www.stewarthomesociety.org/luv/bloodrites.htm

You can buy the book directly from Book Works or from a number of bookstores in the UK. In North America, distribution is through R.A.M. Publications. Most bookstores should be able to order this for you. Amazon does not have Blood Rites listed yet, although other books from the Semina series are available through them. [correction - Amazon.com lists it as out of print! The book is available from the UK supplier for sure. I will confirm with the US supplier about availability.]

Book details: Blood Rites Of The Bourgeoisie by Stewart Home. Book Works £8.00. 14 June 2010. ISBN 978-1-906012-23-6

Blood Rites is part of the Semina series put out by Book Works and edited by Stewart Home. Check out the links above for more info on other titles in this series.

Really people I'm gone

2010-01-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

I deleted my Facebook and MySpace pages two weeks ago. I did this for a variety of reasons, one being that a few mentally-ill acquaintances from my past had tracked me down. While the underlying reasons for deleting the accounts had been percolating for some time, it was essentially an impulsive act.

In any case, I did not anticipate what happened next - nobody noticed. Not a single one of my friends, so called, noticed that I was missing.

And then I had a vision. I had seen my future and it's not pretty. As an old man, I will die alone in my apartment to be discovered weeks later (by accident) among the filth, half-eaten by my dog. This is great. I have so much to look forward to now.

Paraphilia VI now available

2010-01-28T12:13:00.000-08:00

Head on over to the Paraphilia website to grab the latest edition of Paraphilia Magazine. Lots of strangeness from Jim Lopez, Christopher Nosnibor, Richard Meade, Claudia Bellocq and Chris Madoch, to name a few. Ready, Set, Mutate.

Gun

2010-01-14T23:09:00.000-08:00

Here's a micro-fiction piece that I've recently reworked :

One morning, Johnny brought his father’s shotgun to school for show and tell. The gun accidentally discharged, blowing off Billy's head as he sat in his desk at the front of the class. The laughter of the children quickly turned to screams of excitement or horror. This accident foreshadowed events thirty years later when he walked into his office and shot eight coworkers with a rifle. Afterwards, he sat at his desk, tidied his papers, and then shot himself in the temple with a .38 special. But this time, it was not an accident.

McKenna at the Psychedelic Salon

2010-01-10T19:55:00.000-08:00

I've been grooving to a lot of Terence McKenna's talks lately, graciously provided by the Psychedelic Salon podcast. While I have some problems with McKenna's books, he really hits his stride in these lectures where the depth/breadth of his knowledge becomes apparent. (And I should add that there really is a whole mushroon load of McKenna there!) The archive also has audio files from other mind-benders, such as Timothy Leary, Robert Anton Wilson and Erik Davis.

Subscribing via iTunes is the easiest method to get the whole catalogue, although there are a number of subscription options. You can also get show notes from the website.

I've been listening to this podcast for a few years and each one is a real treat. Mutate now!

The Swine Flu: The Old Doctor's Prescription.

2010-01-03T16:48:00.000-08:00

My old friend, a Doctor, of sorts, and hustler by trade had the opportunity to study the Swine Flu first hand. Here are his observations. Make of them what you will. I, myself, have no opinion. I am just happy that he is paying me in script to post his preliminary findings. In times of recession, Rx can be hard to come by and expensive.

The Swine Flu: What You Need to Know. The Old Doctor's Prescription.

The Old Doctor has a lot of patients/marks these days, so he'll give you the short version. Currently, Control Mechanisms within the humanoid population are in a panic about the swine flu. This panic seems a bit curious, given that the swine flu actually has a shorter duration and a lower mortality rate than the average flu bug. So, why the panic? Apparently, a significant part of this panic stems from the flu's apparent ability to rapidly mutate.
Well, The Old Doctor had the opportunity to experience the swine flu first-hand. Here's what he discovered. On day 2.5 of the peak flu experience, The Old Doctor woke up at 2 in the morning staring at a wall of what looked like human tissue. It was put to him that this was one visual representation of his meta-programming panel. It was further put to him that he here and now had the opportunity to reprogram or erase some deeply wired Circuit I-IV tape loops, something he proceeded to do. The Old Doctor got rid of or modified loops that were in place in him by as far back as the age of five, loops that he had never been able to dispense with even with the aid of LSD or psilocybin, loops which are very amenable with and indeed tie one into the mechanisms of Control. Ah, so that's what they really mean by mutation, and why it makes them nervous.

One of the commonly reported psychological symptoms of the swine flu is a feeling of emotional panic due to a sense of being under personal attack. If the mark, ahem, patient, deeply identifies his or her self, as many do, with robot programs locked in place by mid-adolescence, then such panic is no surprise when these programs come under potential threat. Certain aspects of Control have figured out the social threat that this virus poses and have induced this panic on a mass scale. Interestingly, most people who've actually had the swine flu can't see what the big deal is. Well, the real big deal is that it's an opportunity to reprogram oneself, one that is accessible to the entire humanoid population. It's a global brain change agent. The best damn bug experience The Old Doctor's had since he learned from the measles to time travel.
The Old Doctor's prescription? 1) GET THIS FLU. 2) FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE.

Thank you for your time.

T.O.D.

Welcome all, now move along ...

2010-01-01T14:35:00.000-08:00

Meet the new year, same as the old year.

But no worries, as these are some fun times. In this coming year, I'll be (hopefully) updating this blog at least weekly as well as developing a few other projects on the OI website. So hope to see y'all at the freak show.

Stay gold.

The Last Train - performance night at the RM Hotel

2009-11-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

'The Last Train' was the final reading for the Delusional Writer’s Imagined Performance Series, which ran concurrently with the Vancouver Writer’s Festival. An excited crowd packed the executive meeting room in the Rocky Mountainview Hotel on Hastings for the festivities. This was the best turn out so far for the reading series. But the event was almost shut down before it started when our M.C., Gordon Jefferies, drank some mushroom tea and walked down the hall naked, gesticulating wildly and trying to convince anyone who would listen that he was noted news anchor Knowlton Nash. The management threatened to throw everyone out; at the very least break some legs to show that they meant business. They said that they ran a tight ship and this freak-out behaviour was scaring away the Johns.

With things settled down, the evening began with the extreme clown crew, Industrial Bondage, taking the stage to warm up the crowd. “Drop and give me 20 of your best!” a purple-haired Doc Ravage shouted into a megaphone while the rest of the crew led those in attendance through a calisthenics routine.

I took the stage next. I read from an unfinished novel that, for the event, I translated into a language that I had invented. The language itself consisted of fart noises, burps, clicks and hoots. After 45 minutes, I took a bow and walked off stage for a well-earned bevvy. .

Next was Art Kravan, who gave a spectacular performance. He began with a wonderful riff on Wordsworth with his poem – “I wondered lonely as a crowd”. A few minutes into his set, his face became distorted and he began to moan. Clutching his stomach, he dropped to the floor shouting “I’m going to shit my pants!” He rolled and writhed across the stage, hands clutching his ass. The custodian and the stage manager came out and dragged him off the stage to great applause.

Jack Raggotte followed with a performance of his latest epic poem dedicated to the life of George Oppen, which he read with a Kazoo in his mouth. After 25 minutes, he threw the instrument into the audience and said “That’s better. Let me continue without that thing making all that racket.” He pulled an air horn from his pocket and continued to read. Each time he spoke, he blew the air horn, deafening the first 10 rows of the audience and, of course, preventing anyone from hearing what he was saying. Which I think was for the best as this work is much weaker than his poetic tribute to Louis Zukofsky.

The evening ended with Descending Light Explosion performing an 82-minute sound poetry piece. The three-man group started a cappella with their extended tribute to sound poetry innovators, Four Horsemen. They brought in their beat boxes for the next few pieces, “Lather up and rock the steam seat”, “Honey Jo” and “Did the funky again.” Things hit high gear when the Emetics took the stage with the trio and created a funkadelic wall of noise and sound for DLE’s epic “What? Now? Hello Tricky!”.

Now, that was a great way to end the night.

Paraphilia Magazine Issue V now available!

2009-10-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Hot off the presses! The new issue of Paraphilia Magazine is now available. Read it online or download it at:

http://www.paraphiliamagazine.com/magazine.html

Don't be a chump - Get your copy today!

Panel Discussion Cancelled

2009-10-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

We had set up a panel discussion called “Parade of Assholes 10 years on - Was this chapbook intellectually obsolete as soon as it was printed?” However, this event was cancelled due to lack of interest and attendance from the panel members and audience alike.

Interview with an Important Writer

2009-10-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

I ran into Alex Morgan at the Vancouver Writer's Festival. He is well established on the literary scene with a number of books of poetry and fiction to his credit. I asked if I could quickly interview him and he said yes (well, after asking which publication it would be for. I said it was for the Internet. He said he had heard of the Internet and felt it was one of the most important publications around today.)

OI: Your new book of poetry, Songs of the Northern Sky, has just been published. I haven't read it yet but I understand it's getting great reviews.

AM: Yes, I am an important writer. My book of poetry has just been published by a prestigious publishing house. It has been reviewed in the Globe & Mail and the Quill & Quire. They called it an important work. My agent is a very well-connected person.

OI: What influences help to mold your writing?

AM: My writing is influenced by Modernism. I create work that is both highly artistic and pushes peoples conceptions of art. Critics recognize my work as an important contribution to Canadian letters. I sit on the boards of many literary councils where I'm well respected for my views on literature and art.

OI: And Modernism? Any comments?

AM: Modernism is a very important movement in letters. It has deeply influenced my writing.

OI: Who's your favorite Modernist writer?

AM: T.S. Eliot is my favorite poet. He is an important figure in English literature.

OI: Anyone else?

AM: I can't think of any others right now.

OI: You’ve said Henry Miller is a big influence on your work. How so?

AM: By opening up the boundaries of literature, so I can push those boundaries even further. I am very interested in contemporary writing.

OI: What is your favorite Henry Miller book?

AM: I've read Tropic of Cancer, or was it Tropic of Capricorn? I can't remember. I saw the movie Henry and June three times. Miller is a great influence for me. I always try to push the boundaries of art.

[At this point, a young man sat down at the table. We make introductions.]

AM: This is Tim Stanton, my protégé. Under my tutelage, he is going to be a very important writer. Tell him what you're working on now, Tim.

TS: I've just finished an epic poem. It is a homage to Basil Bunting. I am working on my Ph.D. at a prestigious university where I study under a number of well-known scholars. We have spent several years doing important work on the poet Basil Bunting.

AM: It's work like this that keeps Canadian writing vibrant. People look to important writers like us for direction.

OI: Any plans for the near future?

AM: I will be reading at the Metro Bank - Earle Birney Main Stage tomorrow. A lot of other important writers will be there. I know Joseph Boyden and Douglas Coupland. I know every important writer in this country. I create important works of literature.

OI: Do you like giving readings?

AM: Poetry readings are the high point of cultural expression. It serves an important function for the community and allows me to make public my works. I've read with many other important writers.

OI: Like who?

AM: I can't remember whom right now, but they were very important and have had quite an influence on me.

OI: Are you working on a new book?

AM: Yes, it's a novel set in Vancouver called On the Edge. It is a cross between Ulysses and the Jerry Cornelius saga. It will be very cutting edge. I always try to push the boundaries of art.

TS: This new work will definitely take Canadian letters to a new level. Alex, we have to be running. The reading at the Ford Main Stage will be starting in fifteen minutes.

OI: Who is reading there tonight?

AM: I'm not sure, but the tickets were nearly $100 each. We have front row seats. There will be several agents from the top publishers there.

OI: Thank you very much for taking time to talk to me.

AM: The pleasure was all yours.

12 hours of Sodom

2009-10-20T23:16:00.000-07:00

Continuing my contribution to the Delusional Writer’s Imagined Performance Series running concurrently with the Vancouver Writer’s Festival, I did an extended performance at Captain’s Sub & Pizza shop called ‘12 Hours of Sodom’. This was a 12-hour reading from de Sade’s 120 Days of Sodom. At 1pm, I kicked things off and didn’t look back. The reading started off slow, it being Sunday and the local hipster crowd did not make their way to the place until late afternoon. At least the early birds were treated to plate after plate of wonderful crazy bread.

Of course, reading this whole time was taxing, so I mixed things up a bit. At one point, I tapped out a few pages in Morse code, but that was awkward, as I had to continually refer to my reference book. I did a few sections in mime, and most of what I read from section three was done in a variety of voice impressions of celebrities or of just people I know.

Since I knew that the smell of the Captain’s pizza would drive me crazy, I anticipated taking a few breaks to enjoy his superb Mediterranean veggie pizza. I had recorded myself reading the text. So whenever I felt the urge for a slice, I played the recording. I was going to lip sync to my recording of the text, like Stewart Home did at a recent event with Wu Ming, but unfortunately I did not get a chance.

But I did get the opportunity to use my Punch and Judy dolls to re-enact scenes from the novel. They proved immensely popular with the afternoon crowd, but the hipsters who came in the late evening did not appreciate the dolls at all. Fortunately, my friend Grant Wright interrupted the performance by involuntarily lunging at the stage and vomiting over Punch and Judy (and, believe it or not, only hitting my shoes). This helped to cut the tension, and things went smoothly from thereon in.

Later that evening, Stilts and A.J. from Descending Light Explosion dropped by with some gear and busted out some funky beats. At this point I took a bit of a break while the duo did a great call and response bit. They would read a line from the book and the audience would shout back “oh my god, that’s some funky shit!”

Throughout the day people came in and out of the shop, picking up pizza and stopping to listen as well. The last few hours, when DLE showed up, things really kicked into high gear until the Captain kicked us all out just after midnight. We were short of the twelve hours, but, in the end, that just did not matter.

Can't Run Forever

2009-10-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

As I was not invited to the Vancouver Writer’s Festival, I decided to contribute a number of performances to the Delusional Writer’s Imagined Performance Series. The first work was a performance of my rap-opera tribute to Steve Fonyo, 'Can’t Run Forever'. This has been a passion of mine for over 10 years and it was great to see it all come together at the Spitzer Masonic Hall staff room on Saturday night. I want to give a special shout out to Jerry Schroeder for allowing me to adapt his novel into this rap opera and for helping to make this production a reality. Of course, a shout out to the man, SF, for all his troubles, peace.

Production-wise, the stage is sparse, just myself as MC plus Descending Light Explosion providing the back beats. I do a couple of costume changes and some dancing but otherwise it’s a minimalist rap monologue performance piece.

A decent crowd was assembled in the room when the funky beats of Descending Light Explosion rocked the place and I came out to deliver the opening lines:

I do it like I does in the old days

I do it like I does in the old ways

I kicks it like I does in the days of Steve Fonyo

At the end of the first act, I do an 18-minute beat box routine to give the band a break. Unfortunately, they used this time to take some mushrooms that started to kick in during the second act. They needed to take a short two-hour break to work some things out. We kept the vibe going by handing out pakoras while Jim Bowen entertained the crowd with some killer lip syncing. He kicked off with Love Gun by Kiss, before moving to more appropriate material such as De la Soul’s Buddy and Ya Mama by Pharcyde.

We were finally able to get the final act going just after midnight when I turned on the smoke machine and came out to deliver an imaginary monologue by Fonyo:

I’m not retarted, I’m just broken hearted

‘cause I did it and I’m forgotten

not like that other guy, what’s his name

Here’s the story, I gots the guts and he gots the glory

By this time, the crowd was cheering, breaking down in tears, throwing cheese. I looked out into the crowd and saw a young man holding up his iPhone and recording the concert. He gave me a big smile and a thumbs up and right then I knew we were doing something special.

Next up is my 12-hour reading of de Sade’s 120 Days of Sodom, '12 Hours of Sodom', at Captain's Sub & Pizza Shack on Kingsway.

Black Wurm Gism - An interview with David Mitchell

2009-10-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

I had a chance to talk with Dave about his latest work, Songs of the Black Wurm Gism. Here is an excerpt:

I also invented something called ‘insect porn’ – by that I don’t mean I created a literal niche in the pornography market. I mean I found a useful metaphor that I could use to link Lovecraft with Burroughs. The basic thinking behind it stems from a reading of Theweleit’s book Male Fantasies which is really about the symbols of ‘horror’ and ‘loathing’ prevalent in western society. They are almost universally based on a fear of the feminine, the chaotic. And suddenly a lot of things became clear. The ‘monsters’ in both HPL and Burroughs tend to be biomorphic representations of a deep insecurity, an almost pathological misogyny on a subconscious level. In both writers, the images of disgust tend to be fixated in insects, cephalopods, molluscs, etc., all of which are part of the ‘teaming substrata of the biosphere’.

I also have a strong dislike of pornography, not based on any ideological or moral outlook, but a sincere revulsion for most of it. I remember seeing Brian Sewell once being interviewed and when he was asked if he thought pornography degraded women, he replied; “It does if it’s any good.” LOL

So – ‘insect porn’ – (which I’m going to take further into my own writings as a recurring motif) – ‘the result of an invading intelligence, non-organic possibly, attacking human life at the sexual root, by diverting the sex instinct into non-biological channels. The fixation of sexual desire is diverted from the sexual organs and into the alimentary canal. Mouth. Anus. Perhaps there is a parasite that wishes to transmit itself from host to host and uses the sexual organs of one host to pass into the digestive tract of another host.’ Nasty stuff, but it also opens up possibilities for a lot of black and scatological humour.

Yowsa! You can check out the full interview at the Index .

Paraphilia Magazine Issue #4

2009-08-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

Cover of Paraphilia Magazine Issue #4

Head over to Paraphilia Magazine to grab the latest issue. This one weighs in at a whopping 260 pages and features works by Jim Lopez, Michael K., Christopher Nosnibor, David Conway, Claudia Bellocq, and Stewart Home, to name a few. Don't be a chump - check it out!

Pssst - I have a story in there too, pass it on ...

I Was That Poet Almost Nobody Liked

2009-07-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

Fuck me, I love these pictures. They are from Jerry Schroeder's latest work, I Was That Poet Almost Nobody Liked. The first image is the cover and the second image is the inside flap. The only thing I hate about them is that I didn't think of it first.

In the next month or two, I will post some samples from this work plus from his equally insane book, Symphony, on the website. In the meantime, check out this previous post on his Sorcery Tracks performance.

Parasite delayed

2009-06-23T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have been working on a piece for D. Mitchell’s Parasite Regained and ironically have been infected by some sort of viral parasite. I believe it is an entity / curse / voodoo attack from a group of rose enthusiasts because I mocked their flower arrangements. Thus the updates have been slow to come.

Ahh, call me a Romantic, but I really do enjoy the delirium that comes with a high fever.

I'm an expert at ... what?!

2009-06-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

I’ve been coming across the notion of expertise a lot lately, especially with Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers still riding high on the bestseller lists. The argument is that if you put 10,000 hours of deliberate practice into honing a particular skill set, you will have mastered that skill, or, in other words, become an expert.

Let’s crunch the numbers:
Over ten years = 1000 hrs/year = 2.75 hours a day (approx.) of practice
Over twenty years = 500hrs/year = 1.5 hours a day (approx) of practice
Over thirty years = 333hrs/year = just under 1 hour a day of practice
And so on.

Putting it into these terms depressed me, as I realized that after 41 years, the only thing I am an expert at is masturbation.

My First Chuck Palahniuk Reading

2009-06-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

I felt that I needed a bit of culture so I headed out to a Chuck Palahniuk reading at the Chapters Bookstore in Burnaby. I gave up going to readings years ago as I found most writers would weigh their words as if each one was precious, instead of just delivering the goods. Not to mention, what most wrote just bored me to tears. I want writing filled with violence, sex, violent sex, sexual violence, occultism (with both sex and violence) and a whole lot of head-fucking (postmodern? conspiracy?) theory. Basically, works that have no literary merit whatsoever.

So it was with some trepidation that I went to this event, but my mate, Michael W. convinced me to give it a go. I should point out that I like most of what Chuck has written. I was just worried that it would not translate well in performance. I knew the event was going to be big so I showed up early to stake my place. I’m glad I did. Wristbands had been distributed earlier for those rabid fans who wanted their books signed. Their dedication paid off as they were allowed into a little pen with chairs while the rest of us Prols had to stand around the perimeter. I had a great vantage point so I was happy.

Chuck came out and after a short intro kicked things off with a game. The game for this tour was simple. He had 100 inflatable pre-signed penguins which he threw out into the crowd. The first person to blow up their penguin would win a DVD of the movie Choke. This set the tone that things were not going to be taken too seriously. Just sit back and enjoy. There were two more rounds throughout the night.

The reading was great. The selections were not from his latest work Pygmy but were imaginary bedtime stories that would have been read to the protagonist of that book. These were twists on standard tales – Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Hansel and Gretel and Little Red Riding Hood. The style is a parody of a Stalinist propaganda tract, but as an awkward children’s story.

Here’s an example, I transcribed for Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Case study operative - Family bear mammals
Existed once time, traditional heterosexual family unit composed - mother bear mammal, father bear mammal, offspring bear mammal. Existing as proletariat family, laboring for to bring total fruits much futures success to most glorious nation-state.

There are quite number of videos on YouTube, if you want to explore further. Sure, this type of thing has been done before, but I think he pulled it off.

There was also a Q&A session between a journalist and Chuck. Unfortunately, they got the most vacuous journalist imaginable. She is from the CBC, a typical example of what is wrong with institutionalize banality in the arts in Canada. She did not have a clue what she was talking about and asked some of the most inane questions that I’ve heard uttered from a so-called professional’s mouth. Palahniuk took it all in stride. He would twist whatever question around to what he wanted to talk about, in any case.

Both the reading and the talk were very engaging and funny, peppered with anecdotes and observations. He came across as intelligent and down-to-earth. However, I noticed that some around me were bored with the talking. At one point, when he was discussing how he had constructed the narrative for some of his novels, I overheard someone say “Is this English class?” Certainly, there was a portion of the crowd that were there only for the celebrity experience, to capture the spectacle on their cell phones, and not for the substance. Sure, this type of thing happens with any “name” performer. Maybe I don’t get out much, but I thought the event was a groove sensation.

After an hour and a half, I managed avoid the crush of people leaving the event, slipping out into the parking lot with an inflatable penguin in tow.

Blood Feast (a few quick observations)

2009-06-07T16:19:00.000-07:00

I was re-watching Herschell Gordon Lewis’s Blood Feast last week on TV. It’s a classic low budget gore/slasher film from the early sixties – lots of blood, cannibalism, stilted acting, cheap camera work, pulp writing and occult themes. As I said, a classic.

Just a few meat observations:
1) Blood Feast contains this great line delivered by the mother after thwarting the sacrifice of her daughter on the kitchen table and discovering the catered food for the party was human flesh – “I guess we’ll have to eat hamburgers for dinner tonight.” Makes me laugh every time.

2) The commercials that ran during this airing were for packaged meats and sausages. I don’t normally watch commercials but this pairing of content between movie and advertisements was wonderful. Ain't postmodernism fun!

While I dig Blood Feast, my fave so far is Gruesome Twosome (although the opening sequence to Something Weird is one of the creepiest bits I’ve seen.) I have not watched Wizard of Gore or the Gore Gore Girls yet, so ...

Proposal for a Television Program

2009-05-16T22:39:00.000-07:00

The program would be called "So You Didn't Want to Fuck Me?!" and could either be a separate program or an ongoing segment in an established show. The premise is simple - I surprise former crushes (both men and women) at their homes or work. I give them exactly 15 seconds to explain why they did not fuck me. When the timer is up, I blast an air horn in their face and scream "Too late for excuses, motherfucker!" I then spray the area and every one nearby with feces from a hose connected to a septic tank pumper truck. After that, I haul a deteriorating pig or sheep carcass into the room. I drop my pants and fuck the animal carcass screaming "I'd rather fuck this than you any day!" When I finish, I set the carcass on fire. We can use funky music for the soundtrack and also add a laugh track, if necessary.

WeFunk Radio, dig?

2009-05-12T21:40:00.000-07:00

Like to groove to the sweet bass riffs and phat beats of original funk and hip hop? Then get your ass over to

WWW.WEFUNKRADIO.COM

WeFunk Radio is a weekly radio show out of Montreal, Quebec, Canada. The shows combine the best hip hop, funk, R&B and soul, past and present, into two hours of awesome listening. From rare tracks to well-known classics, Professor Groove and DJ Static do an excellent job keeping things hoppin'.

Through the website, you can listen to past shows (roughly 400 as of this writing) and access the continuous radio stream (you can get this through itunes radio as well).

I've been listening to this show for years and have never been disappointed. Don't be a poindexter, shake that thang!

Pulp Find

2009-05-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Last week, I managed to find some pulps by women writers on the remainder tables. They are all reprints from Feminist Press, part of the Femmes Fatales series. The books are:

The Blackbirder by Dorothy Hughes
Bunny Lake is Missing by Evelyn Piper
Laura by Vera Caspary
Women’s Barracks by Tereska Torres

I am not familiar at all with women’s pulp writing, so I am really happy with this find. They look great - lurid covers and good quality production. I will blog more when I read them, so I can spread the word a bit.

If anyone has any other suggestions of women pulp writers that I can explore further, please drop me a line.

Bonging Hell's Belly

2009-05-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

This performance by The Emetics (Kedrick james and Doni Scob) is from Fake Jazz Wednesdays at the Cobalt Hotel in Vancouver, October 17, 2007. They live up to their name with this closing number. Good times!

Check out their website at Discipline of Chaos. There's more fun than you can shake a stick at!

No Pity

2009-05-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

Here's a promo video for Stewart Home's short story collection, No Pity published way back in 1993. It's got skinheads, dolly birds, minor sploshing, shrimping and union jack apparel. What more do you want?!

While you're at it, check out Stewart Home's website at www.stewarthomesociety.org. It's packed with groovy articles on art, writing, politics and more. Come on, you know you want to ...

Paraphilia Magazine Issue 2

2009-04-29T14:27:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note:

Paraphilia Magazine has just hit the stands. Haven't had a chance to read it yet but to judge from a quick skim, it looks great. Please go to www.paraphiliamagazine.com for a pdf copy.

Don't be a chump, it's free!

Bathrooms are ...

2009-04-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

"Bathrooms are for fucking, shitting and fighting, in that order."

First line of an abandoned pulp/parody I was writing years ago. Who knows? It may see the light of day yet ...

Re: my previous blog post -

2009-04-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

“If we don’t read the books with which we carefully line our apartments, then we’re no better than our dogs and cats.”

Terrence McKenna attributes this to William James in his talk “Surfing Finnegan’s Wake”. (Although, I couldn’t find any other attribution for this.) That said, the quote does embody a wonderful Victorian attitude, doesn’t it.

My Personal Reading Challenge; or My own Fire Sale (literally)

2009-04-12T21:55:00.001-07:00

I have a new goal: To read my entire book collection before my 50th birthday or the whole lot goes up in flames. That’s right, burn the whole collection if I don’t get off my ass and finally read these things that have been hanging around my place, in some cases for 25 years. I’m addicted to my books. I collect them, I don’t read them. So I decided to give myself some serious motivation.

I have nine years. This should be plenty of time. I’ve done some rough calculations and I have approximately 350 books left to read. Which works out to about 38 books per year. Say one a week, give or take. Some I should be able to blaze through, like Jim Thompson, Chester Himes, and R. Crumb. Unfortunately, I have the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili, Sartre’s Critique of Dialectical Reason and a bunch of William Vollmann, which will make it difficult to keep on schedule. Not to mention family and work and etc. and the fact that I continue to buy books. But I think I can adjust for all this.

Right now I’m reading the Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolano with Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole and Information Bomb by Paul Virilio on deck. So let’s get this challenge underway. Well, maybe later. I’ve got lots of time.

Some books I've bought lately

2009-04-12T21:49:00.000-07:00

No commentary. Just the list. See next blog posting as to why this is now an "issue".

Time for Revolution – Antonio Negri
Information Bomb – Paul Virilio
Galactic Pot Healer – Philip K. Dick
Lies, Inc – Philip K. Dick
Dictionary of the Esoteric - Neville Drury
Doc Savage Brand Of The Werewolf &
Fear Cay (Nostalgic Ventures edition)
Doc Savage The Red Spider (Nostalgic Ventures edition)
Her Magesties Secret Service – Ian Fleming
Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao – Junot Diaz
Radio Free Albemuth – Philip K. Dick
The Grifters – Jim Thompson
Poor People – William Vollmann
Celebration – Harry Crews
Scar Tissue – Harry Crews
Feast of Snakes – Harry Crews
Key of Solomon the King
In the Shadow of the Silent Majorities – Jean Baudrillard
Complete Richard Allen Vol 1 – Richard Allen

Remembrance of Pranks Past

2009-04-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

With April 1 just past, I became sentimental about some past pranks. A grade school favorite was to pour ground black pepper into my hand, tempt somebody to come closer to me, then throw the pepper into their face. Pure comedy gold.

Eventually, another opportunity came with the Vancouver Opera Society. They had an ad campaign for their production of Don Giovanni where the poster art of Don looked exactly like porn legend Ron Jeremy. My friend, Jerry, crafted a beautiful letter criticizing the VOS’s decision to actually cast Mr. Jeremy as Don in the production. This letter was mailed off to the VOS, newspapers, opera magazines, international opera houses and a local music store that was a supporter of the VOS. We wanted other defenders of culture to denounce this travesty of high art being tainted with the stench of porn. A class action suit was also hinted at. We received a few bewildered responses and a great correspondence with the owner of the local music store who got the joke. However, we could have pushed this one and didn’t. This was my first real prank on an outside target, so it suffered a bit from lack of experience and faulty execution.

Oddly enough, my most successful prank happened at work. I individually shrink wrapped everything on a coworker’s desk while she was on vacation. The response was great – a big yell of surprise when she realized what had happened, with coworkers crowding around the desk with astonished looks and giving their own theories of what happened. I walked past her desk to use the fax machine, poked my head through the crowd and said “Wow, that’s odd. Anybody see a fax for me?” before heading back to my desk. The IT guy had replaced the wallpaper on her computer with a picture of Will Smith and Martin Lawrence from Bad Boys as a calling card. When she saw the picture, the IT guy was blamed and I kicked up my feet to enjoy the festivities.

A funny aside, I shrink wrapped everything in plain view of others in the office, nodding and chitchatting to coworkers as I stood at her desk. However, at the reveal, these same coworkers were genuinely surprised and concluded that it was someone who worked the weekend shift (the prank came to a head on a Monday). The IT guy worked on the weekend (plus the new wallpaper) so all fingers pointed to him. He was cool with it as he achieved some notoriety.

Now, there is one I’ve been itching to do, but circumstances might make it too risky (I mean kinda dangerous!) at the moment. More later.

Paraphilia Magazine now available

2009-03-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Hey folks,
Paraphilia Magazine #1 is now available at www.paraphiliamagazine.com I've skimmed through it and have to say, it's fucking awesome. The first issue blew away any expectations I had. Please check it out. It's available as a free download so you have no excuses. Great work Dave and Dire and others.

Some disclosure - while I have a short story in this issue, I'm not acting as a shill. Honestly, this is a great introduction to some alternate/alternative ideas and artists.

Not my proudest moment

2009-03-04T22:20:00.000-08:00

I once shit myself in public

It’s true. I was nearing the end of a successful night of drinking when the bar closed and there was the promise of another late night venue to continue the festivities. I went to relieve myself in an alley. As I was in a hurry, I tried to force the issue and … well … I REALLY did not expect THAT to happen.

While I stood there, pissing, warm shit in my pants, scenarios buzzed through my head. Since it was winter and I was wearing layers – underwear, long underwear, pants, - I decided that I would let this play out. I had places to go and hopefully people to meet.

So like a trooper, I went with it. Through a cab ride, a walk around the city searching for a place I increasingly realized did not exist, and a long cab ride back to the apartment. I did not do anything sooner about the situation because I did not want to let on what had happened. Preferring to sit and walk around in my own filth than to reveal this secret.

Good times.

All Avant-Garde All the Time

2009-01-17T22:34:00.000-08:00

I just rediscovered Ubuweb after forgetting about it for a couple of years. If you don’t know about it already, Ubuweb is a huge archive of avant-garde material; everything from L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E to Fluxus to Sound Poetry to on and on. It’s hard to articulate the scope of the site unless you check it out yourself, as in RIGHT NOW!

www.ubu.com

My goal is to work through as much of the site as I can before December 31 2009. Or before I go insane. Whichever comes first.

Go further ->

A New Height of Christmas Cheer

2008-12-16T22:53:00.000-08:00

Away in a Manger, Asshole!

I just came across a little celebration of Christmas cheer I recorded in 1998 called Away in a Manger, Asshole! . I wanted to upload it for this holiday season but it is on cassette tape and I do not have the tools or the know-how. I will do a 2009 version, when I have some time …

That's it. Nothing really. Just a little teaser. So Happy Fucking Holidays, I guess.

Another Douchebag Moment

2008-12-11T22:37:00.000-08:00

Douchebag moment #2

Making fun of a guy’s dead mother.

I got on a roll with the Yo Momma jokes. As I hit my stride, I remembered that she had died two months previously.

Fuck me, I used to drink a lot, okay?!

Sorcery Tracks Performance by Jerry Schroeder

2008-12-03T22:20:00.000-08:00

Are you in my dream or am I in yours?

This brilliant performance/invocation/initiation explores the fragile nature of "reality" and "self" by taking us through the Magickal universe to the abyss. Question : Are you still the same person you were before this experience?

This performance took place at Pointless Hysteria on June 10, 2000 as part of a larger production, Diorama of an Ape. The video presents only highlights of a longer set.

BTW, I make a small appearance as blond guy on couch. My big break!

Human conditioning -

2008-11-30T22:39:00.000-08:00

Routine is a form of metaprogramming.

A Douchebag Moment

2008-11-25T22:12:00.000-08:00

Regrets. Man, I have regrets. If I could, I would take back this lapse of judgment into assholism.

Douchebag moment #1

Ridiculing an emotionally disturbed woman in my high school French class ... in front of the class.

[I though I was a comedian and boy, did I kill.]

2008-11-18T22:58:00.000-08:00

DFW

Stay Gold

2008-11-17T23:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my Chinese Democracy. It's been almost three years to the day. Finally, something is happening around here. But not right now. I just need to clean up some things in post. Then ...

Onward, the future.

Coming soon - another avenue for banality + boredom

2005-11-22T17:17:00.000-08:00

Stay tuned - this blog should be set up by the new year. Nihilism + humour =

Propaganda before Truth!
Conspiracy before Politics!
Excrement before Aesthetics!

In the mean time, check out my web site at www.opsonicindex.org, which should be updated by the new year as well.

Stay gold